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disciple your children Daniel Patz, Lead Pastor Grace Church, Sunday Worship Deuteronomy 6:1-9; Psalm 78:1-8; Ephesians 6:1-4 September 13th, 2009
INTRODUCTION This morning I am taking a break for the next passage in Ephesians (where I plan to be next week – Eph 4:25) and want to focus on the issue of parenting. I want to exhort you towards “biblical childrearing.” Why? § Sunday School started today (in addition to this we have Grace for Kids and a Nursery) § Time for Youth Ministries to Start § A lot of parents in this church who just started or are in the thick of it § “One Generation” – Parenting seminar this Friday and Saturday (Sept 18-19) – I asked Dave what he recommended me sharing this morning as a compliment to this and that is what you have this morning. § Scary statistics – 75-88% of kids from Christian homes leave the faith by the end of their freshman year in college. § I am personally fired up about it. 1. The Bible is the standard for all things, including parenting. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, (17) that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. Our statement of faith says this: We believe that God has spoken in the Scriptures, both Old and New Testaments, through the words of human authors. As the verbally inspired Word of God, the Bible is without error in the original writings, the complete revelation of His will for salvation, and the ultimate authority by which every realm of human knowledge and endeavor should be judged. Therefore, it is to be believed in all that it teaches, obeyed in all that it requires, and trusted in all that it promises. 2. The Bible teaches that all things, including parenting, exists for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Parenting exists to show God off. It exists to proclaim to others of the goodness of God. Parenting is not about our fame but about God’s. We don’t parent for our happiness nor the temporal happiness or success of our kids – we do it for God’s sake. 3. The Bible teaches that we most glorify God in our parenting when:
a. The Bible is our primary guide. We see this in Deut 6. – “Now this is the commandment…” Proverbs gives us much instruction. Dr. Phil is not our primary guide. Our parents are not our primary guide. Our feelings are not our primary guide. Christian books are not our primary guide. The Bible is our book. You can not be biblical parents without knowing and caring to know the Bible. No excuses – study! b. We, as parents, love Jesus and are satisfied by the glory of God. God is glorified in our parenting when we ourselves love and are satisfied in God. “(4) "Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. (5) You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (6) And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.” Psalms 145:4-7 One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts. (5) On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate. (6) They shall speak of the might of your awesome deeds, and I will declare your greatness. (7) They shall pour forth the fame of your abundant goodness and shall sing aloud of your righteousness. c. Our aim in parenting is glorifying God by making disciples of our kids. “(6) And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. (7) You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Our ultimate goal for our kids is not athleticism. Our ultimate goal for our kids is not intellectual excellence. Our ultimate goal for our kids is not the enjoyments we had or didn’t have. It must be to make Christ lovers and followers. Said another way – our goal must be the evangelism and discipleship of our children. This requires hard work! This requires time. This requires equipping. This requires vision. This requires radical commitment to change everything. Heaven and hell are at stake. Listen to Ryle: We depend, in a vast measure, on those who bring us up. We get from them a colour, a taste, a bias which cling to us more or less all our lives. We catch the language of our nurses and mothers, and learn to speak it almost insensibly, and unquestionably we catch something of their manners, ways, and mind at the same time. Time only will show, I suspect, how much we all owe to early impressions, and how many things in us may be traced up to seeds sown in the days of our very infancy, by those who were about us. A very learned Englishman, Mr. Locke, has gone so far as to say: "That of all the men we meet with, nine parts out of ten are what they are, good or bad, useful or not, according to their education." And all this is one of God’s merciful arrangements. He gives your children a mind that will receive impressions like moist clay. He gives them a disposition at the starting-point of life to believe what you tell them, and to take for granted what you advise them, and to trust your word rather than a stranger’s. He gives you, in short, a golden opportunity of doing them good. See that the opportunity be not neglected, and thrown away. Once let slip, it is gone for ever. Beware of that miserable delusion into which some have fallen, — that parents can do nothing for their children, that you must leave them alone, wait for grace, and sit still. These persons have wishes for their children in Balaam’s fashion, — they would like them to die the death of the righteous man, but they do nothing to make them live his life. They desire much, and have nothing. And the devil rejoices to see such reasoning, just as he always does over anything which seems to excuse indolence, or to encourage neglect of means. I know that you cannot convert your child. I know well that they who are born again are born, not of the will of man, but of God. But I know also that God says expressly, "Train up a child in the way he should go," and that He never laid a command on man which He would not give man grace to perform. And I know, too, that our duty is not to stand still and dispute, but to go forward and obey. It is just in the going forward that God will meet us. The path of obedience is the way in which He gives the blessing. We have only to do as the servants were commanded at the marriage feast in Cana, to fill the water-pots with water, and we may safely leave it to the Lord to turn that water into wine. d. We look to God for our pattern of a healthy family (Father-Son) From Pastor Dave: The fact that God has assumed the name “Father” for Himself demonstrates the that the family structure is not merely a cultural or pragmatic institution and that parenting methods are not primarily individually or traditionally or subjectively based. Instead, it teaches us that they are both grounded in the nature of God. And the fact that Jesus has assumed the name “Son” for Himself demonstrates that the product of parenting and the relationship dynamic between parents and kids are not arbitrary or subjective. Instead, they too are both grounded in the nature of God. Again, parents, do you want to know what a truly good parent looks like or how you are to look at and treat your children? Look first, not at Pastor Daniel or I, not at your parents, not at TV moms and dads, but to the Father and his relationship with is Son. And do you want to know what good children are to look like or how they are to respond to you as parents? Look first, not to the Jones’s kids or the pastor’s kids, or to Dr. Phil’s kids, but to the Son and His relationship with the Father. We must not make excuses like this – “I am came from a dysfunctional family” or “I never had it modeled growing up” – we all came from dysfunctional families and we never had it modeled perfectly – but we have a new FATHER! We have been given the SON – who dwells in us! e. We think biblically about the nature of kids and families (purpose and size) (3) Hear therefore, O Israel, and be careful to do them, that it may go well with you, and that you may multiply greatly, as the LORD, the God of your fathers, has promised you, in a land flowing with milk and honey. Deuteronomy 8:1 "The whole commandment that I command you today you shall be careful to do, that you may live and multiply, and go in and possess the land that the LORD swore to give to your fathers. Douglas Wilson in Reforming Marriage on being fruitful and multiplying. Birth control and worldly attitudes. Psalms 127:3-5 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. (4) Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. (5) Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate. f. Parents generally, and fathers specifically, see themselves as the primary disciple-makers of their kids. Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Fathers are RESPONSIBLE. Mothers are a chief HELPER. Father initiate. Fathers sacrifice. Fathers give up hobbies. Fathers change your life – you have a short few years. Fathers must be PASTOR DAD. Proverbs 4:1-2 Hear, O sons, a father's instruction, and be attentive, that you may gain insight, (2) for I give you good precepts; do not forsake my teaching. g. We recognize the need, in light of the Bible to be intentional in making disciples of our kids. (7) You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. (8) You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. (9) You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. All of life is discipleship. Education. Play. Everything! See the centrality of the home. CONCLUSION I want to conclude with some words from Ryle: Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you love them, think often of their souls. No interest should weigh with you so much as their eternal interests. No part of them should be so dear to you as that part which will never die. The world, with all its glory, shall pass away; the hills shall melt; the heavens shall be wrapped together as a scroll; the sun shall cease to shine. But the spirit which dwells in those little creatures, whom you love so well, shall outlive them all, and whether in happiness or misery (to speak as a man) will depend on you. This is the thought that should be uppermost on your mind in all you do for your children. In every step you take about them, in every plan, and scheme, and arrangement that concerns them, do not leave out that mighty question, "How will this affect their souls?" Soul love is the soul of all love. To pet and pamper and indulge your child, as if this world was all he had to look to, and this life the only season for happiness — to do this is not true love, but cruelty. It is treating him like some beast of the earth, which has but one world to look to, and nothing after death. It is hiding from him that grand truth, which he ought to be made to learn from his very infancy, — that the chief end of his life is the salvation of his soul.
Fathers and mothers, you may take
your children to be baptized, and have them enrolled in the ranks of
Christ’s Church; — you may get godly sponsors to answer for them,
and help you by their prayers; — you may send them to the best of
schools, and give them Bibles and Prayer Books, and fill them with
head knowledge but if all this time there is no regular training at
home, I tell you plainly, I fear it will go hard Fathers and mothers, I charge you solemnly before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, take every pains to train your children in the way they should go. I charge you not merely for the sake of your children’s souls; I charge you for the sake of your own future comfort and peace. Truly it is your interest so to do. Truly your own happiness in great measure depends on it. Children have ever been the bow from which the sharpest arrows have pierced man’s heart. |
